The current Thames Water hosepipe ban is being extensively advertised at the moment, with the strapline, “A hosepipe uses 150 litres an hour, a bucket uses 7″ Which is blatant misdirection. A bucket uses 7 litres a time, and a hosepipe will only use 150 litres if you leave it on for an hour (and 150 sounds low, as well).
The whole thing is an absolute sham. Did you realise that you can use a pressure washer to clean your patio or garden furniture, but not your car?
It got right up my nose so I decided to complain to the Advertising Standards Authority. Here is the text:

This ridiculous comparison only serves to bring the campaign into ridicule, and adds to the chagrin of users, such as myself that invested in garden irrigation systems that use less water than a watering can might, only to find that now we may not use them. And this coming from an organisation that presides over millions of litres daily seeping into the ground through leaks. Advert can be heard here: http://webpreview.thameswater.co.uk:90/en_gb/downloads/mp3/Delivery_Pre_Mayor.mp3

Lets see what happens.

I regard myself as a European pig, but I despair when I read about this proposal to raise taxes on text messages and eMails.
In essence, some European numbnut is REALLY thinking about levying a tax of 0.8p on a text message and …wait for it….. 0.00001p on eMails. That’ll really cripple spammers then. Purpose of this lunacy? To give those Very Important European Politicians money to play with without having to ask. I know it is never going to fly, but the sheer crass idiocy of wasting time thinking of it in the first place defies the imagination. And you thought tax on eMails was an urban myth. Huh.

Hello everyone. As I am spectacularly famous, I shall refrain from introducing myself and instead allow you to discover the multitudinous facets of my personality as time passes. I am helped in this venture by my able student and assistant, Ham, who has his own blog. We have been working together for so long, often people find it difficult to telll the two of us apart.

What, then, has brought me to this juncture? The truth is that there are limited platforms where a ein gebildetes Schwein, un cerdo educado, an educated pig, if you will, can be fully appreciated. The blog appears to be the ideal opportunity. As they say, on the Internet, nobody knows if you are a pig.

You may expect this diary to range freely across many different topics. Those closest to my trotters will of course be prominent - food may figure from time to time. I hope you enjoy participating.