Due to a combination of imminent holidays, bereavements of varying types and things too numerous to mention, this blog is now on holiday, returning on 15th August.

There is a danger, if insufficient sun cream is used, of ending up with roast bacon. Toodle pip!

Can’t really miss this production.

So please can someone explain to me how Bush manages to get away with the stem cell veto? I listened in amazement as I heard that - for his first ever veto he said

the research which uses frozen embryos is morally wrong.

As opposed to destroying the lives of thousands of innocent civilians half way round the world, which is clearly morally defensible.

Looking around for a US take on the whole “Snowflake” deal I came up with this blog. From what I can see this divergence of opinion highlights the rift that may end up splitting our world apart. I look at the origins of the first world war, where soldiers were sent like pigs to slaughter, and it seems clear now that it was an arms and influence race. The second war is even clearer, with a straight line from Versailles through the depression to the gas chambers. Are we now looking at the seeds of the third? I am sad to think we may be.

When we look back, what will we say they were? God. Arrogance. And oil.

I haven’t changed my mind about Big Brother, but I thought I’d share the moment this morning when I switched on a TV (for literally 2 minutes) and was treated to this conversation:

(please imagine the accents)
Housemate 1: Before wasting food we should consider those in other countries who don’t have food, even if it’s only half a melon
Housemate 2: Well, melons is diff’rent coz they got em in uvver countries, they grow em in uvver countries, dey got trees an all.

Dearie, dearie, me.

You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a sheer drop and on your right is a fire engine travelling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level. Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
The answer is posted in comments.

This entrepeneur’s site kept me amused for a while, and the free offers and chop gear road tests all seem original. All in all, a good website.

I’d love to convince you that this was all my work, but I received it in a silicon.com newsletter. Over to them:

Women who want to be taken seriously in the world of IT have
several options.

One is to get their head down and fight on through the stigmas, stereotypes and sexism, and hope that endeavour can somehow break down the walls and bring the glass ceilings shattering down to earth, there to serve as a relic of the outdated and anachronistic attitudes that kept too many down for too long.

Or they can get their tits out.

The latter option has pretty much been the preferred avenue taken by a group of Australian female techies who have decided that a racy calendar is the way forward to promote themselves and to further the image of women working in technology.

‘The IT Screen Goddesses’ website claims”We are doing this to smash through the perception of the geeky technologist.”

The calendar features 16 tech ‘Sheilas’ in poses made famous in iconic stills or scenes from the silver screen - such as the famous image of Mena Suvari in American Beauty lying naked among rose petals or Ursula Andress emerging from the sea wearing the white bikini which for some defined the first Bond film, Dr No.

Promotional material for the calendar says it includes “beautiful photos of real women”. Not “real photos of beautiful women”, you’ll note, though the Round-Up was very impressed with Ursula Andress - or Sharon from Personal Broadband Australia, to use her full title.

Oh yes…. the link.

Knowing just how much some people like kittens, The Pig wishes to satisfy all visitors.

You must know the Darwin Awards, awarded to those members of the human race kind enough to remove their own stoopid gene from the pool. This incident occurred when a doctor decided to blow himself and his house up, rather than let his wife get it in a divorce. He turned on the gas, and then struck a match but survived the ensuing explosion.

A friend witnessed this from a school 40 yards away, so I’ll hand over:

This was part of an interview from an eyewitness who worked at my school.

Oh yeah, I’m fine- it was kind of loud, (what with the building exploding and collapsing two buildings down) kind of reverbating, (what with our building shaking and all) and kind of smelly. (what with gas, et al) Lots of people on the street were fairly injured, but all in all, it beat a boring morning at my desk.
It was nice to have the afternoon off.

And the bugger lived.

To prove that god loves irony, The guy was a jerk, always calling the school screaming at us that “your damned students are out sitting on my stoop- and eating LUNCH!”

Well– the whole damned building is in pieces, the street is destroyed, and people are seriously injured–

but the stoop still stands intact!

Little bit of nostalgia here, who remembers the days when there was loads of free stuff on the Internet because we were being bribed to visit companies’ sites? A quick google shows that “http://whatwouldyoudoforafreet.com” has gone to the great server in the sky. What is left is a clutch of half baked sites that expect you to give up your personal information, mosty in the folorn hope of winning a draw for one shirt. This site has some free stuff, but it doesn’t do much for me. Anyone got GOOD free sites? Do they exist?

What was Scaryduck doing at Hamton Court? (clickie for biggie)

Following a Daily Photo post on a euphorbia, I thought I’d post a picture of another, spotted at Wisley.

I’d left reading this book for some years. Partly because I was scared that a ragbag amalgam of works scraped posthumously off an author’s hard disc might disappoint, no matter how good the author is - in this case, Douglas Adams.

I need not have worried. Each piece of work is a gem, multifaceted and gilttering. He was a good - no a great - writer capable of making you think and howl with laughter in successive seconds. He had a particular talent of holding up the world from a slightly different angle, so that you can almost feel your Centre of Balance shift.

…as we become more and more scientifically literate, it is worth remembering that the fictions with which we previously populated our world may have some function …

and

…I don’t care about PICTS and TIFFs and RTFs and allt he other acronyms, which merely say, “We’ve got a complicated problem, so here’s a complicted annswer

I’ve deliberately chosen two almost anti technology quoes, because he is normally so associated with it. If you let it, the book will take you to other places. The only down side is that there is not enough.

Amongst other things, it is the book Bill Bryson wanted to write, but never did. Do try to read this if you get the chance.

of junk mail in the sty. 12 pieces, in around 5 separate visits. Is this a record? Has anyone ever been killed by a herd of stampeding leaflet pushers?

You can’t duck the issue of a bill of rights, even if it sounds a bit quwakers, the issue will be all over the web before you know it. So dab dab will be ok. But where are pigs in all this, I ask? I feel in my loins it won’t do much for us, and should therefore be given the chop straight away. Brains, not brawn, I say. Take this act and fillet out the dross and what’s left? What’s at the heart of this? Dashed cheek, say I. of lilly livered politicians who ignore the best creatures on this earth, because that Cameron man wants to save his own bacon. We will end up with this country in hock, while these quasi actors shoulder their way in and ham it up in Whitehall. We are more important than that.

On a serious note, this meaningless grandstanding frightens me. We have one already that is suitably nondescript, but important for all that; it is behind our entire democratic system. What is it that this politician wants? (apart from an office at No 10) The answer is in the rest of his statement - to be more like America. No thank you. No. We are already getting to that state (sic) faster than I like. The last thing I want is a President Blair or Cameron. If that means sticking by a curious system that says an accident of birth decides if you are head of state, so be it. (Here is the line of succession to the throne to 900 decimal places…. dashed load of johnny foreigners). Next thing is to enjoy these British Rights, you’ll need an ID.

Sometimes, I wish the concept of focus group had never been invented.

Gub Gub

Were due to go to a concert in Kenwood House last night, but the old sow (who doesn’t read this blog) got the call from on high on Friday, and as a result both yesterday and today we’ve both been working on a ‘puter from 6:30am to midnight So no ocncert. Funny thing is, how I don’t mind helping someone else with their day job, but I would resent it if I had to do the same because of mine. Odd that.

Normal service will be resumed, whatever that is.

In the meantime, why don’t you learn to play the piano? or better, Smurf (sic) the web! (yeah I know that’s silly)

Ring ring…. Hello?… short pause while the auto dialer patches through to a human…..(accented) “Good morning sir, I am calling you from London Mobile Company”. Me: “Sorry, I don’t know what you are selling but the one thing I’m sure about is that you don’t have much to do with London”

This is another of the paintings bought the other day from the gallery in Greenwich. It is called “Towers” by Peter Moore, who paints in an esoteric style often using iconic imagery. His paintings are provocative and challenging, while at the same time exciting to the eye.

I’m a clever pig really. I came up with the theory of creating a frame ourselves, and it has been well executed. Made out of 2 x 1 ash, any small gaps at the mitres are filled using sanded sawdust, held in with sanding sealer.

Clicky for biggy.

Gub Gub

You may have seen and enjoyed the Hollow men Karaoke for the deaf before, in which case you might like these additoinal videos.